Character Building

I am pleased to write for The Stand in part because of its devotion to fashion, of which I am moderately keen about. Now don’t get me wrong, I am clueless as to the goings on of the St Andrews fashion societies; I am yet to achieve the “autumnal chic” of the university students; and I am so far off the clothing trends that I might as well be living on the moon — the corduroy and collar is generally my uniform. Yet, I still have an appreciation for these articles in The Stand, and in other publications too.

Some well-dressed people, probably playing Bridge. Courtesy of Celestial Images.

One of my favourite quotations from Mark Twain is a nugget concerning fashion: “Clothes are what make a man; naked people have little, or no effect on society.” Clothes can change a person: their confidence, their success, how they are perceived. It is of little surprise that public figures spend a lot of money on clothing: for if you want to feel your best, you’ve got to look your best. Trump’s suits, tailored to the absolute tee, will make his figure look powerful whilst hiding that surplus poundage. Remember Rishi Sunak’s weird suits? Yeah, those trousers were deliberately a little short to create the allusion of height. Zendaya is pretty meticulous with the stuff. Even Dame Sally Mapstone is on the ball. So when I have cause to dress up, you can bet your bottom dollar that I am going to go the

whole hog. Or at least try to. Shoes: polished. Tie: jammed right up to the collar. Pocket square: maybe. Buttonhole: if I’m feeling doggish. When the Caledonian

Society White Tie ball comes round each year, I sometimes feel the main event is in fact squeezing into my grandfather’s tails, fastening on that starched collar and tightly knotting the bowtie with a stiff gin and tonic at my side. Now, I probably sound like I have no friends. But people who wear good clothes are individual in this sense; they elevate themselves above the rest. And fashion doesn’t always have

to be expensive either — I know the charity stores of St Andrews have goods to yield.

Me, on the right, with my friend Guy. Reeling ball applications open now on https://www.instagram.com/caledoniansocietystandrews/

Sometimes, admittedly, I look as desiccated as a coconut (mainly after too much beverage); sometimes I give Stig of the dump a run for his money. But I always have appearance floating in the back of my mind in sober thought. And so, when I was on the Old Course the other day, having a splendid round with some splendid chaps, all the thoughts I had about my own fashion sense came crashing down, quite laughably, for a brief period. This came about after a few small words were said to me by an old school acquaintance who was playing in the group in front. Notice how I have not written friend in the preceding sentence: we never were.

Our two groups were bunched up by the fourth tee box — it was busy, as usual. The fairway ahead eventually clears, the group in front take their drives and start walking on. Then my school acquaintance, as he picks up his bag, turns to me and says “How are you, Geordie? I see you’re looking scruffy as usual.” He stares at me with his signature toothy grin and then walks off.

Scruffy?? As usual?? The only thought racing through my mind was what an absolute W***** he was. And those asterisks cover capitalised letters, dear reader. I did indeed have my shirt untucked, but golf is not a formal occasion. What really jarred with me was the “as usual,” which shows how little he knows me. Now this comment is really quite piffling, and I shrugged it off —some people have to deal with actual abuse on the daily. But it brings up an interesting lesson for us youths. A lesson concerning how to have thick skin in life: to not let comments or snipes take you down. Firstly, I’m not talking about hate speech, which is a different thing altogether. Instead, I’m talking about words which might offend a person’s politics, ideology or way of life. Most people of our age can’t take offense, they find it to be an egregious violation when someone expounds an unfashionable viewpoint. Being able to withstand offense can only be done through having thick skin, and thick skin is an absolute imperative in this modern age where anyone can say pretty much anything. The only way you can have thick skin is if you have had enough character building. Like clothes, character building can change a person’s outlook and it can only be gained through cold hard experience, in whatever form that may take. Some people gain it by life throwing it upon them, others gain it through throwing it upon themselves, some never gain it at all. It is indeed trickier for people of our generation to receive true character building, for our indulgence in technology has softened us; nowadays we are more exposed to mindless brain rot than real life.

Why, you must think, am I any veritable source for talking about this? I am probably not; my character isn’t fully built, far from it, quite frankly. But I have had my small doses from time to time, which has given me an insight. I have received some thickish skin from, of all places, the Bridge table with my Grandad and his friends. Bridge is a silly card game which used to be very popular and has now diminished in popularity, being mostly played by pensioners. It is complex and requires a good degree of skill.

I am an average Bridge player at best, and when you play for money, the tension is high. The number of times I have been verbally abused at the Bridge table is quite phenomenal. I remember I botched one quite significant hand at about the age of 15, for which I was called a ‘F****** idiot’ by my grandfather’s friend Miranda — I am still called the F.I. by her today. Not just a couple of days ago, my grandfather asked me why the f*** I played a certain card, even though we eventually won the hand. Most of these charades ended in tears back in the day, but I’m used to it now: my skin has thickened. On a side note, I have a great deal of affection for my Gpa and Miranda, I am close with both, but they become a different breed when they play cards. And I try to be philosophical about it, for, as Larkin says, ‘they were f***** up in their turn by fools in old-style hats and coats.’

Now some people have probably had it much worse than me, but character building is individual to each character. And whatever it takes to get that thick skin, you must get it, for it will be required at many points in your life to counter and parry the offenders. I wrote about it in another article concerning Frost’s ‘The Road Not Taken’, which is another way to gain thick skin — if you feel like you need character building then, to use Marcus Aurelius’ phrase, the obstacle is the way.

Character building most importantly gives a person the internal confidence to know that their core passions will not be diminished by snide remarks. That’s why I batted off the comment about my sartorial appearance because I know the ‘scruffy as usual’ remark was a load of rubbish. And what is more, sometimes you do not need

thick skin to riposte offense. Sometimes karma does its magic work. Like when I saw my school acquaintance slicing his ball into The Old Course Hotel on the 17th tee box. An alternative: and what sweet, sweet justice it was.

Should you be interested in joining a local Bridge club, look no further than the St Andrews Bridge Society (found on https://www.facebook.com/people/St-Andrews-Bridge-Society/61567366331449/?mibextid=wwXIfr&rdid=fR2CeX8UVkTBSU

xC&share_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fshare%2F1C

CbLS2qc7%2F%3Fmibextid%3DwwXIfr). I may or may not have

created this society, which is still looking for members by the way!

My apologies for the expletives.