Okay, this week's column was meant to be about clubbing and parties, but I am quickly realising I am NOT the person to talk about this. I had planned to go to about 8 union events over the course of fresher's week (on top of other parties and events!) - but, let's be honest, in what world was that ever going to happen?
Even before fresher’s week, my phone was absolutely blowing up with messages from the hundreds of people I had followed who also had “UofStA” in their Instagram bios. Now, none of those friend groups have actually materialised and I've found better friends in the people I met through common interests. To be fair, I quickly realised that big group chats equal a bigger chance of drama (and a bigger chunk of your phone storage taken up) and I quickly resolved to try to preserve my peace.
I'm by no means a loner, but after the first hall free bar I realised that the big party atmosphere is definitely not my bag. As someone who had never been out past 9pm before, I knew I was being ambitious, but I hadn't taken on any regard for my own boundaries and quickly burnt out from the social activities during the day. It's been great to know that other people are as eager as I am to make friends and try new things, but as we've reached the point where we're closer to ILW than fresher's week I'm noticing fewer people wanting to sit next to people in lectures and start up a conversation. It feels like sometimes everyone else has settled in quickly whilst I'm still trying to find myself, let alone a friend group.
Credit: Holly Lumsden.
Not that that's a bad thing. In trying to "find myself" at uni, I've got involved in basically anything and everything I wanted to do as a child. I've found academic families, massive groups and individual friends (and realised that I don't gel with some people), signed up for far too many mailing lists and only gone to some of the events, walked home at night on my own and in massive friend groups, got a job and become a productive member of society - I even have a budget that I update consistently! And we're only at week 3 - can you tell I got excited about moving out? I think I may have run away with my fresh independence and found a few too many ways to find myself.
And I'm finding out that not only is it okay not to go out somewhere wild every night, but it's okay to go out less and less as term goes on - heaven knows I'm too exhausted to function at this point and most of my evenings are spent in my room. As a literature student I am all too aware of the changing meaning of words, so for me, “going out” has come to mean dressing up, wrapping up warm, familiar smiles, sore stomachs from laughter and good exercise, a change of scenery, a feeling of belonging, cosiness, and comfort. And I'm okay with that.
So going out doesn't by definition mean being overstimulated. Personally, I haven’t gone to many other places in town yet and I’m trying to find the perfect balance between work, societies and frivolity. As someone who doesn’t drink alcohol, I’m beginning to realise that not every minute of my free time has to be spent in the shadowy shades of sweaty, noisy, slippery club. There's been so much else to do and so many friends to make, I've not even had a chance to feel bad about clubbing. I’m a simple girl anyway - all I want is food, a good playlist, someone to gossip with, and then someone else that will gossip about the first person with me. Anyway, I'm more of a pub quiz person myself.
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