"Go Out and Find Yourself": Being With People and Being Alone in the First Three Weeks of University
I made a challenge for myself when I moved to St Andrews: to go to the water once a day. Back home, I lived near a river, but hardly went. I never lived near an ocean or sea, and knew that the Fife coast is truly special. I took my walks, many solo, and explored the different beaches, snacks nearby, or ways to view the water from buildings (I recommend the Wardlaw Museum's balcony). These excursions are now an important part of my day, and I typically do them alone. On today's wander, as I sat by the aquarium on West Sands, I realized that learning how to be alone is the most important skill I've been challenged to learn in my first three weeks at St Andrews.
Just to clarify, I don't mean being alone in an anti-social manner. I came to university with ambitions of making new, international, and intellectually curious friends. I have. St Andrews has many events, which force students to get to know one another. Since the town itself is so small, the University of St Andrews has a unique power over where students go. I loved Welcome to the Bubble at Club 601, FS's Starfields, and all the events the amazing John Burnet Hall has put on, such as our Scottish Brunch. St Andrews provided a warm space to make new connections, and I reaped those benefits.
However, I also spent more time alone than I ever have. When I was in high school, I went from class to class for 7 hours a day, seeing a new cohort every 58 minutes, and frantically trying to see more in the 6 minutes between blaring bells. I returned to a house with parents, a dog, and rushed back out for extracurriculars. I never went anywhere alone.
Being at uni (and getting Freshers flu), challenged me to make all of my decisions alone, giving me more autonomy and forcing me to become an adult. When I turned 18, I did not feel it. I always said that I would feel like an adult when I went to university, not just with a cursive-fonted number on an Instagram story. I have learned by myself how to be an adult and handle my own business, with supplemental WhatsApp guided support from my family. That learning curve is essential.
Most importantly, I have learned how to enjoy the silence. In my walks to the water, I hear nothing except the lapping of waves on the shoreline. In my slogs to Tesco for tissues, I hear my schedule for the day scrolling across my mind. In my applications to new activities, I hear a quiet but confident voice telling me to go for it.
Every student should hopefully come to uni wanting to be the most outgoing, involved version of themselves. I still believe that I am that version of myself. I love the carefree nature of social interactions here. Everyone's new, so going up to that random stranger is easy! But what I did not expect was the power or the importance of being alone, and how that challenge has been the most necessary growth I've had to do in my first three weeks at St Andrews.
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