We Have Forgotten How to be Bored
Our lives have become dead set on stimulation. We have become so focused on us actually ‘doing something’ without any rhyme or reason behind it. Ultimately, we have lost the ability to accept boredom. We have become so uncomfortable with our reality that we feel as though we must fill every ‘quiet’ and ‘unimportant’ moment of our lives with some sort of stimulation.
Boredom becomes so uncomfortable when you believe that the world around you is leaving you behind. It happens whenever you can hear people outside your flat singing and dancing, or when you turn on Instagram and see the academic family you didn’t join having a blast together. The fear of missing out is so prevalent among students that we switched to alternatives to keep ourselves feeling welcomed. The nights where you hassle your friends into going out with you and the days where your screen time exceeds the time you spent at lectures are all a result of this.
At least for me, there’s some sort of internal pressure to be constantly doing something all the time. I constantly hear my friends and even strangers on the street talk about how they ‘aren’t doing anything tonight’ and how they desperately want to. We’re truly afraid to become bored because when in solitude and silence, all you can do is think about what else you are missing out on. Ultimately, we all want to feel like an accepted member of the community. The thing is, we either try really hard to participate in that community or distract ourselves from the feelings of isolation that come with boredom. In all honesty, it feels like our desire for constant stimulation is merely a coping mechanism designed for us to feel comfortable in a world that we’re missing out on.
Some of the best nights I’ve had at St Andrews have been the ones where I wasn’t trying to force anything onto myself. My personal favourite was when I randomly came across a friend from home and ended up catching up with them. We ended up playing cards in their common room until 1 in the morning, and it was genuinely one of the most magical moments I’ve had at St Andrews. There was not even anything that was particularly special about the night; we just had fun talking to one another and meeting each other's friends. We all ended up going to get shawarma, but it wasn’t like there was any pressure for something to happen that night. Some of my favourite adventures have been from when my friends and I were trying to figure out what to do for dinner when our residence hall doesn’t serve food. So far, we’ve gotten turned away from Nando’s several times, and have always ended up going from place to place trying to figure out where and what to eat. Even though all roads lead to a Sainsbury’s meal deal or a dinner at Spoons, we always end up having a lot of fun.
The thing is that boredom was present in all of these moments. Without it, I don’t think we would’ve started playing cards, nor would my friends and I continue to make jokes about the long line outside Nando’s. Boredom did not feel uncomfortable for me in any of those moments. I was surrounded by people I genuinely care deeply about, and our collective acceptance of the situation made it more comfortable. All of those moments came naturally, and that made each one of them ten times more special. Each other’s presence took away our feelings of ‘not belonging’ that you get from boredom. The only thing boredom provided to us was an opportunity to do things that would have otherwise seemed out of the question.
For me, if I try to force a night ‘to happen’, it ends up going very poorly. At least for me, it’s not like I can force myself to have an enjoyable night - those sorts of things just happen on their own. The nights that started off boring often end up being the most entertaining and fulfilling. Boredom isn’t necessarily an issue; rather, its outcomes can lead you along paths you would have never thought of. Don’t try and solve ‘boredom’, just go where it takes you. After all, you can’t look for a solution to something if you don’t even know if it’s a problem in the first place.
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